fun night

Tonight I'm going to the Cake party with Handsome Young Guy & some of my girlfriends, although probably not the Girlfriend because she's busy. I'm so excited! Cake is for girls who like boys & girls, & sometimes when I go it is crazy. One time this hot girl went down on me in the bathroom, another time I had a threeway with 2 hotties in the VIP room... so yeah. It'll be insanely fun. We have to dress in lingerie, which is great. Also I haven't seen HYG in about 2 weeks & I think he will really like my outfit.

On a more ascetic note, I've worked out for at least 2 hours every day this week. Even yesterday after the hours & hours of work. I'm kinda proud of myself for that. I have not practiced at all, though, so I better go do that before HYG picks me up. I'm sure I'll have some kickass stories for you tomorrow. :)

hallucinogenic exhaustion

I just got home from 17 straight hours of work. A big law firm needed papers ready for production tonight - a roomful of paper - so I have been working at that since 6pm last night. I have a headache, I think I might throw up, & I keep catching little rainbows out of the corner of my eye. It was kinda fun though; efficiently going through boxes & boxes of paper is a specialty of mine. Just wanted to say hi to everyone before I crash. :)

oops

I hate guys making comments at me on the street. Today it got me so cranky, I snapped at this woman walking with her friend. I stumbled on a crack in the pavement in front of her as she was saying, "Look at the tourist," & I assumed she was making fun of me. (People have been known to do that.) I turned around & told her I wasn't a tourist, & when her friend explained that the first woman was actually talking about her, I felt really bad. I should be more zen about stuff said on the street, I guess, but sometimes it's just too much.

dominatrix photo shoot

Tonight I did a shoot on the FDR in some of my dominatrix clothes. It was fun but weird - we started around 10:30 pm to avoid viewers, but there were still people on the path by the East River. They seemed to really enjoy my black leather corset & thigh-high boots. When I changed into my red latex cropped halter & miniskirt, this homeless guy just stopped right there & watched me. I tried to hide behind the car door but unfortunately the window was fairly low off the ground. Despite the distractions, it was a pretty good shoot. I did the requisite sadistic, angry, & "I'm going to KILL YOU" looks very well. & the outfits, of course, are designed to be super-sexy. Thank goodness we finished around midnight, when all the police cadets started streaming into the parking lot. I've never peeled latex off faster!

Tomorrow I have my hair appointment, finally. Very exciting. I also have a legal job from 6 pm to 12 noon the next day. It will suck but it's easy, they're paying well, & I've got an Adderall from my friend. & of course, I'll be that much closer to paying my rent.

My first movie premiere

Hollywood Ex-Boyfriend is in town this week & invited me to the premiere of School for Scoundrels. I've never been to one so I was very excited. The movie was ok, I'd give it maybe 5 out of 10. The first half was pretty funny but as Billy Bob starts being more & more of an asshole it became uncomfortable to watch. His motivation wasn't clear at all. Jon Heder was good & made me root for him though, & his love interest, Jacinda Barrett, was great too. Michael Clarke Duncan & Sarah Silverman are very funny in their bits as well. The afterparty at Stone Rose was more interesting. They had some nice hors d'oeuvres, though never enough to go around, & cutesy drinks. I got to meet most of the actors. All in all, a pretty fun night.

crazy night #???

I went out with Cute Gay Guy last night, which was fun. I just got home (10am!) & I am about to leave for an 11:30 exercise class. I'm not sure if that says I'm insane or just really dedicated to exercising. I'm gonna go with dedication. It was a fun night, a little flirting, a lot of talking, especially a lot of talking about how much we love our siblings - seriously, if anyone ever in the slightest threatened my brother or sister, the wrath of this Goddess would rain upon his/her head. & I know my torture. So don't do it.

Anyhow, going to a Budokon class in a few minutes. Also I advised a young NYC newbie on the bus with some Manhattan tips. I believe #1 was listen, & #2 was always give your girls cab fare. It really says a lot about a guy in the beginning of a relationship if he's not concerned that you get home safely. The bus & train are yucky late at night.

blog books

I am exhausted today - possibly from drinking all night with Morgan Stanley Ex-Boyfriend - but I just finished Wonkette's book. She's a very interesting, funny writer. I never read her blog, since I don't care about politics (no, I will not listen to nasty or scolding comments about that); I just heard the book was great. It's certainly well-written, but towards the end I stopped liking it so much. Melanie Thornton is a junior aide in the Democratic presidential candidate's campaign who's having an affair with a married TV guy. Her best friend Julie is a savvy, capable consultant. When rumors start going around about Melanie & the married guy, Julie & Melanie start a blog pretending to be a Beltway call girl to deflect attention. I won't give away the rest of the plot, so I'll just say it's a little disappointing.

More importantly, Melanie pissed me off more & more as I watched her flounder around. She was so Midwestern & sad & square, despite sleeping with a married man. I wanted to read more about Julie, who was an inspiration, the way she thought everything through, kept her head on straight, & didn't get sidetracked by how things should be, instead concentrating on what to do with how they were. I guess I just don't identify with "the little guy." I like the ones who are rational & accept whatever needs to be done without pretending to feel bad about it, probably because that's how I want to be.

The other blogger book I read recently was Anonymous Lawyer. That was much more satisfying. Anonymous Lawyer is hilariously cruel to everyone but I think it's really just an exaggeration of his frustration with incompetence. I wasn't as enamored of the ending but overall it was great & you should definitely read it.

brave new world

Well, maybe just a brave new me. Wednesday morning I was supposed to get a free haircut at Equinox's salon with the head guy - they've got some "hair model" promotion & when he saw my hair he wanted to cut it himself, though normally he wouldn't. I booked this 2 weeks ago. I called Tuesday night just to make sure, since they didn't confirm with me, & the phone girl says not only do I not have an appointment, it wouldn't have been with the head guy anyway, it would have been with an assistant. Which is not what we discussed, so I decide to confront them the next day. Turns out I actually was incorrectly scheduled with the assistant, which last night's dumbass somehow didn't see, & the desk girl insists on rescheduling me with the assistant for next Wednesday. I don't have the energy to keep arguing with her so I go swimming. After 50 laps being mad about it, I decide I need to stop being a wuss & go get what I was promised. This time it's a very nice guy at the desk & he totally takes care of everything. So I'm still getting my free haircut with the head guy AND I can be proud that I stood up for myself. Ahhh, the benefits of being a dominatrix...

rude guy

I was on my way to Equinox yesterday morning, trying to eat fruit & not drop any of my bags while speed-walking, when I saw this guy. He was singing along to himself arrythmically & out-of-tunefully so I thought maybe he was retarded. But no, he was just a jerk. As I passed him he yelled out, loud & clear, "Shake it but don't break it! 'Cause it took yo momma 9 months to make it!" & then he made some comments about my ass. Ick.

Hollywoodland

Hollywoodland was pretty good - a bit slow, but Adrien Brody was decent, Ben Affleck actually did well & Diane Lane is to die for, as usual. It was cool to see Hollywood in the '60s, although the plot was a little confusing. I would say the main idea I took away from it is how tough & sad the industry can be. Even if you're talentless & fuck your way up, there will still be somewhere that you draw the line. That's when you lose everything. It's not as depressing as that sounds. It's interesting to watch Adrien Brody try to figure out what really went on & keep revising his idea as he talks to more people & uncovers more secrets.

busy bee

Today I had a great workout with my trainer & then Hot Movie Star texted me. I haven't talked to him in over a year, so this was quite a bolt from the blue. I'll let you know how it goes if we ever actually go out again. :) Meanwhile, I have a voice lesson to practice for tomorrow, & am meeting up with Record Exec later. It's funny, I'm busier now than when I was working about 12 hours a day. Tomorrow I have a hair appointment, dance class, swimming, voice lesson, & short film with Future Director before meeting Handsome Young Guy & the Girlfriend (& maybe her boyfriend) for a movie & drinks. Speaking of busy bees, the Girlfriend went back to school & is working too so I barely ever see her anymore. But she's finally learning what she really wants to do so I'm happy for her.

an almost utter waste of time

I've spent the last month practicing like mad, & this last week in particular driving myself insane trying to get a good recording of at least one piece to send in on an audition CD. I didn't want to use my old mp3s because I wasn't sure they were an accurate representation of me at this point. I probably spent 20 hours this week trying to get a 2 minute piece sounding acceptable with the crappy iPod attachment (more on that later). Today I finally, unwillingly, decided that a recording from 4 years ago actually sounds pretty much like me now. The good news is, I was at my peak then & apparently I've practiced so much I'm that good again, & I don't have to worry about the CD making me sound a lot worse than I really am. I'm still kind of pissed (& I'm sure my neighbors are too) that I had to play that little piece hundreds of times & now I'm not even using it. Well, maybe I'll play it at the live audition.

The bad news is, I thought this Belkin TuneTalk would really be CD quality as advertised & it most certainly is not. I can still use it for lessons, I'm sure, but whatever I play comes out sounding very choppy & uneven. I know it's not what I really sound like because I taped myself with a minicassette recorder simultaneously & it sounds fine that way. I guess I got what I paid for - it was $69.99 at the Apple store. Thank goodness I had those professional recordings on the computer.

tribute to Jet Li

I wanted to write about how much I love martial arts in general & Jet Li in particular, but the Times did it for me here. What I personally love about his fighting is that he's so efficient & powerful. He doesn't waste time or energy. He quickly cuts through his enemies with a grace that ballerinas would envy. I can't wait to see Fearless. Of course I wish he'd keep making movies, but I admire so much that he's retiring on the top of his game.

dancing mood

I feel totally in tune with my body & all rhythm today... even in exercise class when we were doing thigh work & I thought I was about to collapse, I couldn't help shaking it a little to "Sexyback." Now I really want to go dancing. I must be in a good mood! :)

fun on TV

Today I was in a pretend commercial for my friend Future Director. She's a smokin' hot chick I used to go clubbing with (when I was a party girl) who actually has a brain & ambitions. For her film class she made up some commercials, & for today's I played the wife, who is PMSing like crazy. She cast this very handsome guy as my husband who just rolls his eyes as I throw a wordless giant tantrum, including hitting him with a pillow. Finally he gets up to buy me tampons. It was hilarious to stomp around & be a total bitch - I never get to act a fool like that in real life. & I learnt more from half an hour of taping than auditing several acting classes. David Mamet is right - you learn acting by doing it, not necessarily by reading about it & following theories. So much fun! We are definitely filming some more stuff together.

another good date...

with Handsome Young Guy. I met some of his friends & he seems to really like me... I think he might be a keeper. Stay tuned for more developments in Celibate Dating Land!

another crazy night

Sorry for the lack of posts recently. I've just been practicing, stressing out & exercising, which I figured was really only interesting to me. Last night was a different story. Hedge Funder, whom I've gone out with a couple times, asked me to meet him at this bar downtown. I'd been talking to Fashionista & her roommate so I invited them too, because that's how I roll - with an entourage. Just kidding. We'd go to a loft party & then we'd join HF. Well, Fashionista has 2 roommates. The other one is Handsome Young Guy, whom I've also gone out with a bit. She brought him too! I tried to figure out what to do & then just said oh fuck it we'll all go & say he's gay. (We forgot, though.) So we're at this bar downtown. At one point HF, HYG & I are talking & HF starts telling HYG how I'm really special & beautiful, etc. & stroking my arm. I'm standing between the 2 of them, totally uncomfortable, watching them make friends & talk about me. HF blithely sails on & says to HYG, "You know how sometimes you meet the right girl at the wrong time?" (we went out once 2 years ago & started up again recently) as I berate myself silently for not managing this better. Oh it was so awkward. But I talked to HYG later & explained a little bit so it's ok & we're going out tonight. Dear god I hope they never hang out.

pain

My trainer worked me so hard yesterday that I can barely walk today. Of course, being dedicated to a perfect body, that didn't stop me from going to a class & swimming, although I made a lot of faces during all that. I am currently struggling with my Belkin TuneTalk - an attachment that allows me to record to iPod - because I sound maybe half as good recorded as live. At least my ears think I sound a lot better when I'm physically playing. It's discouraging & challenging at the same time. All right, back to practicing.

deplorable children

I was walking out of the subway today trying to find the bookmark in my book when this schoolgirl almost walked right into me. I was visibly startled & said "Oh sorry!" but instead of apologizing or at least saying excuse me, she & her teenage friends laughed loudly. They kept laughing as they walked down the stairs, saying "Haha we scared her!" Nasty little brats. Reminds me of the time I was on an extremely crowded subway car & this teenager in school uniform bulled her way on while a bunch of people were trying to get off. Even her friends knew better than to try to get on then. She intentionally shoved me & several others in the process so I bumped her harder back & she yelled something at me but I was already at the turnstiles. It's no wonder New Yorkers have a reputation for rudeness. If the kids are this bad now, they'll only be 10 times worse when they grow up. Who the hell laughs & insults when they walk into someone? & I notice it's always the schoolgirls traveling in packs, though one would expect the boys to be more aggressive. Maybe the girls are trying to be tough & show off for their friends, but they are old enough to know better.

Sharapova sighting!!!

I forgot to mention that we were in the Meatpacking District & saw Maria Sharapova last night in her SUV! I yelled "Congratulations!" as we walked by, then one of the girls tried to go talk to her but her security wouldn't allow it. That game was awesome - she seemed to be struggling a little at first, but then she whipped Justine Henin-Hardenne's cute little Belgian ass. H-H looked like she was ready to cry when she lost... her husband looked really mad too. Kind of unsportsmanlike, I thought. Anyway I was so happy Sharapova won I almost cried at the end. Maybe I identify with a young one winning. Go Maria!

exhausted...

I was out until about 5 last night with Irish Ex & his friend & then I took a class at Equinox today with my friend the Dancer. Irish Ex wanted to fix me up with this guy & I liked him a lot - we went to Cute Lawyer friend's party, then we hung out at Salon & I danced my ass off. Met some hotties there which was really fun. Today's class was tough but not impossible like the other one, so I didn't feel like such a clumsy dodo. I love dancing by myself & doing my own thing, & it's hard to let go of my self-consciousness & embarrassment about being so slow to learn choreography. It's really cool when I can do it though. I also know that I might be uncoordinated & stupid-looking now, but I'll get the hang of it & I'll be a much better dancer soon. Now I've got 2 hours of practicing ahead of me - just wanted to say hi today for the 5 people who actually read this thing. :)

City Opera's La Bohème

Irish Ex-Boyfriend had an extra ticket to the performance tonight. It was amazing! Mimi had a little trouble with her very high notes (flat) but overall it was incredible. The arias sent chills down my spine. I don't know why we never hear about the City Opera as much as the Met since they are this excellent. The set was really cool too; they often just moved things on & off stage during the action, instead of taking a break. For instance the garret of the 1st Act glided off as Rodolfo & Mimi sang their duet in the snow, & a huge Momus sign came down as tables & such glided on behind them. They even had a train for Act III! It wasn't real or metal, of course, but it looked completely convincing. There are still a few performances left, I think, so go see it.

a fun story

This happened about 2 years ago & my friend Future Lawyer just reminded me of it. One night I was out with Hollywood Boyfriend (now an amicable ex) at Penthouse. We had a very nice dinner at the steakhouse upstairs, which I highly recommend, & his buddy was dating one of the strippers so after we finished eating the girls came over & made us feel very welcome. One of them, this tiny thing, boasted that she could drink Jaeger all night & never get drunk. Somehow it turned into challenging me to 10 shots in a row. Now, I used to be able to drink like a Russian bear, so I looked at little miss twig & said, "You're on." The waitress came & set down 10 large glasses in front of each of us - I'm talking glasses the size most bars serve cocktails in. I think we only did 2 giant shots each & then we might have started making out, or maybe someone offered me a lapdance on the main floor... I remember fooling around with the strippers down there & then I woke up the next morning in HB's hotel room with the Babeland sex toys we'd bought the night before strewn around us on the bed. & the vibrator was broken. Mmmmm... that was a great night. :)

S&M shoes

Check out this HSBC ad - it cracked me up when I saw it in the airport, because the shoe looks exactly like a pair of my domme shoes. They're 5 1/2 inches of leather-covered spikes. (The other thing is a chili pepper.) I tried unsuccessfully to find the actual ad online so I could put the pix together & make a poster or something. Perhaps a logo for my Mistress business cards...

my crazy night/day

So my trainer is very cool & cute. Can't figure out if he's gay or straight though. He worked my ass off today - we did weights & my arms pretty much gave out at the end. & then I swam 50 laps like yesterday. I'm actually shaking right now. That might also be the aftereffects of partying until 8am though... I can't believe I got up at 12:30 & practiced violin before exercising for 2 hours. I was out party-hopping with my friend Fashionista & we ended up at someone's apartment & talked for hours. Also, when we were at Gramercy Park Hotel I met Seth Green, who is super nice & friendly. I told him I loved Robot Chicken, especially when they kill people. He was really happy because he says they work very hard on that show, & promised to continue the slaughter. It's great when celebrities are down-to-earth & nice. Oh & he was a pool shark, which is hot. Now I'm going to drink a ton of water before I dry up from sweating out all last night's poisons.

exercise bunny

Yesterday I worked out 3 times - a dance class at Equinox (very fast & difficult), swimming, then a class at my old gym - & today I'm meeting my new trainer & swimming afterwards. I'm doing this all month. If I don't have a totally hot body by the end of the month I will just have to give up!

the joy of Equinox

Today I finally joined Equinox. I am too exhausted from the Urban Rebounding class I just finished, so I'll just say, Wow. It's a gorgeous club & I feel more refined just being there. The employees are super nice & I can't wait to start with my trainer, especially considering the horrifying amount of money I spent for him. I'm going to use this break from work to totally get in shape. I will attempt not to complain too much, since I did ask him to kick my ass. Off I go to collapse.

A good date

Last night I went out with Handsome Young Guy. We've kinda gone out twice - for drinks & parties. I wondered what he'd be like on a real date & I wanted to see if it would be more than "let's grab a drink." We had cocktails, then sushi at Nobu Next Door (very promising). I left my hair clip at the first place & he was such a sweetheart, he went & got it for me. I didn't even have to tell him my feet hurt.

He was hilarious & I had such a great time. I haven't had so much fun with anybody since I left the Ex-Boyfriend. I haven't let anyone kiss me either but I guess I really like HYG because we made out like a couple of teenagers. I'm smiling now just thinking about it. It's funny how sex can cloud one's judgment though... we haven't had sex, not even close, but I'm liking him more & more now & I think a big part of that is the whole fooling-around-all-night thing. It's hard to be objective when I keep daydreaming about him.

It was so nice to hang out with a guy again & not feel really weird & awkward because I'm so scared of men right now. Usually I want to keep them at arm's length - "No! Don't touch! Stay back over there!" - & it was such a relief to have some human contact, literally. Of course the Girlfriend & I play, but guys are different.

Well, it's about time to get on the plane. I hope there are no snakes. I'm in no condition to deal with any more problems, all speedy & over-tired & sniffly as I am. Bon voyage to me...

The airport sucks

I'm sitting here, ridiculously early for my flight, trying to calm down my allergies. I spent an hour and a half wedged into a little seat on a van struggling with my nose, & as soon as I walked into the airport it went into hyperdrive. I've now taken a Claritin, an Allegra, & 3 Dayquil. I'm so speedy from all the decongestants, I'm shaking as I type this & can barely talk.

Security is crazy. They are still not allowing any liquids except baby formula, medication, & contact solution. To avoid the madness of check-in I did all carryons but that means I have NO toiletries with me. It's a good thing my family will have stuff. This whole lockdown on items is retarded. They're focusing on the symptoms instead of the problem.

Anyway, I have to go scrounge up some Kleenex. Gah I wish I could reason with my nose. Maybe slap some sense into it.